I Have Confidence In Him

On Friday, I woke up and went about my business, like any other day. On my way to the train station, I decided to check my emails and right at the top was an email telling me that I’d been accepted for an internship and would start on Monday. The first thing I did was call on the name of the Lord, then I thanked Him while I tried to call home and tell my parents before my fingers got too cold. the fact that my first instinct was to call on the name of the Lord first shows how far I’ve come in the past few months. So I thought I would write about some of the things I’ve learnt during my unemployment.

The biggest lesson that the last few months have taught me is that the heavens rule. This is such a beautiful thing to see and say. One of the most frustrating thing about being unemployed were the limits it imposed on my church life. I’d never really been in a situation where I had to seriously consider missing a college conference or not going to the student meeting because of money. Previously I’d been in situation where I would say “I’m poor” and really what I meant was that I’d overspent for that month and so had to limit my expenditure. However, I then found myself in a position where I was planning which meetings to skip.

Prayer meetings where the first to go, not that I was a regular at them in the first place. It’s a terrible habit, and one I look forward to overcoming in the next few months, but I find it harder to motivate myself to go to a prayer meeting especially during the cold winter. It’s weird because you’d think that with a tight budget, I would prioritize corporate prayer, and now I think about it, I should have. I missed a few Lord’s table meetings and then eventually switched districts because there was a table meeting much closer to me. Somehow, I managed to attend both the European University Conference and the Winter School of Truth.

As you can see, I was choosing the bigger and ‘more fun’ events over the smaller, serious meetings. I wanted to be with the brothers my age rather than the older saints. Here in London, especially in the small districts, it’s not uncommon for there is often a huge gap between the eldest student and the youngest adult. The thought of being surrounded by adults, no offence, just didn’t appeal to me. Praise the Lord that, despite not having any income, I managed to remain active in the church life.

In this economy and with the world situation as it is, the Lord made it clear to me that He was all I had and would ever need. The world wasn’t my friend, it didn’t owe me anything and would never do anything that was in my best interests. This was an important lesson because I had too much confidence in myself and the world. I assumed that after following the rules and doing well at school, I would be rewarded with a job within 3-4 months of graduating. When it didn’t, I lost confidence and turned fully to the Lord. With Him as my confidence, I am now employed and start on tomorrow.

While listening to the recent Winter Training on Daniel and Zechariah, I really appreciated this speaking from Brother Ron in message 1. He said:

“…this is why we have to see that the heavens rule because we’re always going to be in an environment. And the fact is, my brothers and sisters, this environment can include all manner of painful things, anguish things, frustrating things, baffling things, and you pray and you pray for yourself and those whom you love. And the God who rules is silent, and the God who rules is hiding. And it seems as if He doesn’t care or doesn’t even exist. But it’s just part of His rule over you to develop your faith, to perfect your faith. So as God’s elect we need Christ to be wrought into us as our centrality and universality through our environment.”

I’m just so glad that I can see that the heavens rule. My approach to my job is that I am a temporary custodian of that position until the Lord decides otherwise. In that time I must remain open to Him and fully redeem the time so that He can move through me because these days are evil.

About these ads

One thought on “I Have Confidence In Him

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s